Thursday, November 18, 2010

You don't deserve freedom

I want to thank you all for proving once again, that you should be the subjects of the Benevolent Overlord instead of citizens. You just aren't capable of governing yourself.

The Founding Fathers gave our country a great opportunity, and you continue to piss it away. They were the best of the Enlightenment, the very epitome of rational thought.

You are not their heirs. They would be ashamed.

I've already pointed out just a few things that all you "people" need to work on, but this just drives the nail in your intellectual coffin. Really. Obama's still from Kenya? Death Panels?

You are all an embarrassment to your species. You and the Benevolent Overlord are clearly unrelated creatures, and I know which one if us is higher in the intellectual pecking order.

Honestly, my takeover can't come soon enough.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I've got a job for you, Skippy

My black-garbed minions will have a PsyCorp, and Skippy will be their commander. I've always admired his Catch-22-like sense of right and wrong, and ability to extract necessary humor from the military experience.

How can I not like someone who has had to be given rules such as:

100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.

200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.

Skippy, give me a call after I take over. I've got a job for you.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Compulsory Education

You'd be surprised, but for a guy in my position (as a Benevolent Overlord), I'm quite pro-freedom-to-be-left-the-hell-alone. As long as you aren't bothering anyone, or causing injury to another, I'm not really interested in bothering you.

However, there's entirely too much stupidity going on. Really. If you can't get yer shite together, I'm going to have to step in and fix things. Your willful ignorance has gone beyond "eccentric", you're now threatening the survival of our species. Since I have to share this world with you, at least until my mad scientists get some workable space travel, this is pissing me off.

So. In my New World Order, there will be compulsory education in math and science. Not much, but the ability to add 2 and 2 and get 4 on a regular basis, without resorting to Biblical authority, would really be nice. The ability to understand the basic science questions of our day, to tell fact from fiction, and to resist buying into criminally stupid and greed-motivated frauds, such as the lies about vaccinations and autism.

We're seeing the consequences of this in California, with increasing deaths from whooping cough. Whooping cough?!? One of the most easily preventable childhood diseases. And you people are letting your children die, needlessly.

Yup, its definitely time for someone to take over. You deserve it.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Fashion Police

I first saw the term "fashion police" back in the 80's. I think it was Saturday Night Live (it used to be funny), that had a skit featuring armed fashion police, on a mission.

I see things like this and I'm convince that Something Must Be Done. I mean, I'm not the only one who is beginning to think that "Fashion" has just gone too far.

Even men are becoming fashion victims. Don't even get me started on American Apparel. Or Levi's latest stupid ad series.

But don't worry. After I take over, all this will end. Everyone will remain free to wear whatever they like (or nothing), but I'll be putting some so-called designers on notice. Cut the crap, give us some classic fashion. Even men can get in on the action. There's just no excuse for sloppy, ugly, misogynistic crap.

I'll be watching you. And so will my fashion police.